Let’s get real for a second. Over the past 15 years, we’ve witnessed something deeply concerning: a steady decline in empathy among children. Not just a dip, but a measurable drop that educators, psychologists, and parents alike are noticing in classrooms, playgrounds, and living rooms across the country.
Dr. Michele Borba, in her powerful book Thrivers, lays it out plain and clear: empathy isn’t just a “nice-to-have” emotional skill. It’s a superpower—one that helps kids succeed socially, emotionally, and even academically. So when this critical trait starts to fade, it’s a red flag we can’t afford to ignore.
The Data Speaks—And It’s Not Good
Studies show that today’s teens are 40% less empathetic than those just a generation ago. That’s not just anecdotal. That’s decades of psychological research revealing a trend that should make every parent pause.
So, what’s going on?
Why Are Kids Becoming Less Empathetic?
Here are a few of the biggest culprits:
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Digital overload and screen time: When face-to-face interaction gets replaced by texting, gaming, and scrolling, kids miss out on the micro-moments where empathy is born—tone of voice, facial expressions, and emotional cues.
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Hyper-competitiveness and achievement pressure: In a world that glorifies winning and “being the best,” empathy can take a backseat to ambition. When kids are told (directly or indirectly) that it’s about outperforming others, not understanding them, empathy gets crowded out.
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Emotional burnout: Constant exposure to negative news, social media comparison, and performance anxiety leaves little room for genuine concern for others. Kids can get emotionally numb—not because they don’t care, but because they’re overwhelmed.
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Fewer opportunities to practice empathy: Empathy isn’t just taught—it’s caught. But when kids don’t have regular chances to engage in community, help others, or witness compassion in action, those empathy muscles stay weak.
What Parents Can Do—And Why It Matters
Here’s the good news: empathy isn’t fixed. It can be nurtured, strengthened, and reawakened. And parents play a front-line role. Here are a few powerful, research-backed strategies to start using today:
1. Model It Loud and Clear
Children learn empathy by watching us. Show kindness to the cashier. Pause to check in on a friend. Talk openly about feelings—even when it’s uncomfortable.
🧠 Pro tip: Narrate your own empathy. Say things like, “She looked really upset, so I asked how I could help.”
2. Prioritize Face-to-Face Connection
Create screen-free zones. Encourage dinner table conversations. Help your kids recognize tone, body language, and facial expressions—the building blocks of emotional intelligence.
💡 Why it works: Emotional nuance gets lost in digital communication. Real connection sharpens their sensitivity to others’ needs.
3. Teach Emotional Literacy
Kids can’t be empathetic if they don’t understand emotions—their own or others’. Use books, movies, and real-life situations to talk about feelings: “How do you think he felt when that happened?”
🎯 Bonus activity: Use a feelings chart or wheel. It’s a great tool for helping kids name what they’re experiencing—and recognize it in others.
4. Encourage Helping Roles
Encourage them to participate in service projects, peer mentoring, or helping at home. Give them roles that reinforce their sense of power to make others feel seen and supported.
✨ Simple idea: Let younger kids “be the helper” at dinner or read to a younger sibling. For older individuals, consider volunteering or engaging in community involvement.
5. Praise Empathetic Behavior—Not Just Achievement
Instead of just saying, “Great job on that test,” say, “I loved how you noticed your friend was upset and checked in. That was really thoughtful.”
🌱 Reinforce the value: Empathy should be part of their identity, not just a one-off act.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
The world doesn’t just need smarter kids—it needs kinder ones. When empathy grows, bullying drops. Inclusion rises. Friendships deepen. Academic collaboration improves. And most importantly? Kids are happier.
Empathy is a cornerstone of resilience, and resilient kids aren’t just surviving… they’re thriving.
So, if you’ve noticed a shift in your child’s emotional awareness, you’re not alone. But you’re also not powerless. With intention, practice, and yes, a little patience, we can raise a generation of Thrivers—kids who not only understand the world around them, but care enough to make it better.
If you’re looking for a way to support your child’s character development, martial arts could be the perfect fit. At Resilient Martial Arts in Midlothian, VA, we provide programs that build focus, patience, and discipline—all while keeping kids active and engaged.
Visit Resilient Martial Arts or contact us today to learn more about our programs. Let’s work together to help your child succeed in school and in life.
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